


Rude Fish

by ironspydr, UnfortunatelySux



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hiking, M/M, Swimming, mermaid au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 10:55:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15265968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironspydr/pseuds/ironspydr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelySux/pseuds/UnfortunatelySux
Summary: Requested by hidarkidarian. More mergays! The boys have some fluffy swimming time in the forest.





	Rude Fish

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hidarkidarian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hidarkidarian/gifts).



> Thanks so much to hidarkidarian for donating to our new York funds!! Anyone interested in donating or commissioning a fic from us can message us on our Tumblr UnfortunatelyDragon!

Michael chuckled as Jeremy had to take a second break, sitting on a rock and pouting. 

“Don’t laugh at me,” Jeremy complained. “I’m weak.”

“Aw,” Michael cooed. “It's okay, babe. We're almost there.”

“It’s hot,” Jeremy whined. “And a bug landed on me.”

“Jere,” Michael snorted. “You're okay.”

“A bug _landed_ on me.”

Michael laughed, pulling him to his feet and kissing his cheek. “I know you're far too pristine for this kind of thing but it'll be worth it.”

“I hope this isn’t a prank, Mikey,” Jeremy mumbled. 

“It's not.” Michael laced their fingers together, leading him onwards.

“Since when do you like hiking anyway?” Jeremy asked. 

“I don't like hiking,” Michael said. “I do like taking my boyfriend on romantic dates, though. And this scenery is perfect romantic date material.” Michael grinned, pulling Jeremy through the overgrowth and into a clearing. It was a picturesque forest waterfall, just like something out of a cheesy movie.

“Dude!” Jeremy exclaimed, suddenly feeling a lot better. “Is this real?! It looks like that scene from Tuck Everlasting!”

“Right?!” Michael grinned. “I told you!”

Jeremy vibrated with excitement. “Can we get in there?!”

“Yeah! It's freshwater, so it's safe.”

“Oh my god!” Jeremy was already taking his shirt off. 

Michael laughed, not far behind. “Was the bug landing worth it?”

“I’m still deciding.”

Michael shook his head, smiling as he pulled off his pants. “Make sure the back pack doesn't get wet. The towels are in there.”

“Oh, right!” Jeremy pushed their backpack out of the way. 

Michael kissed him quickly in thanks. “Now turn around so I can get naked.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, but whipped around anyway.

Michael stripped, hopping into the water.

Jeremy quickly removed the rest of his clothes and jumped in as well, before Michael had the chance to resurface. 

Michael grinned at him beneath the surface. 

Jeremy sunk down, opening his eyes underwater. “Hey!”

“Hi. How are you?”

“Amazing now!”

Michael giggled, swimming away.

“Come back!” Jeremy chased after him. 

Michael turned, ducking under and swimming beneath him. 

Jeremy stopped. “That’s not fair! Get back here!”

Michael stuck his tongue out at him.

Jeremy dove down toward him. 

Michael didn't try to move, grinning widely and holding his arms open.

Jeremy matched his grin and crashed into him, hugging him tightly. “This is beautiful!”

Michael smiled, squeezing him tightly. “I thought you'd like it.”

“How’d you even find this place?” Jeremy watched as Michael’s hair floated in the water. 

Michael shrugged. “My cat got out and I was looking for her.”

“You found her, right?!”

“Oh, yeah. She was sleeping in a bush.”

“Aw, cute. I love her.”

“God, me too.”

“I love you more though!”

Michael pulled him into a kiss. “I love you too.”

“You’re so perfect, Micah.”

Michael chuckled. “I'm not, but thanks.”

“You are,” Jeremy argued. “For me. To me. I love you so much.”

Michael softened, smiling dopily. “You're so much more than perfect, Jere.”

“Don’t try to one-up me.” Jeremy kissed him. “You can’t one-up the alpha mermaid.”

Michael laughed. “Alpha mermaid?”

“Me!”

Michael rolled his eyes, bringing the pair of them up above the surface.

Jeremy tilted his head. “What are we doing up here?”

“Let's play in the water fall.”

“ _Yes!_ ”

Michael chuckled. “Lead the way.”

Jeremy pulled Michael back down, toward the waterfall. 

Michael grinned as he followed.

Jeremy resurfaced behind the stream of water. “Ooh.”

Michael popped up beside him. “Woah. It's pretty.”

“That sound is pretty itself,” Jeremy whispered, pulling Michael closer to him. 

Michael nodded, turning to look at the shallow rocky outcropping behind them. “Hey, Jere?”

“Huh?”

“We could totally fuck back here.”

“Maybe another day, babe, we can’t deface this sacred place just yet.”

Michael smiled. “I'll hold you to that.”

“Hold me anyway.”

“Absolutely.” Michael wrapped his arms around him.

Jeremy smirked, using his tail to propel them through the waterfall. 

Michael gasped as the water rained down on them. “Wow.”

“Woah!” Jeremy cried. “That’s so cool! This place is magic.”

Michael nodded. “Damn. It's almost as beautiful as you.”

“And almost as breathtaking as you!”

Michael snorted. “God, we’re gay.”

“I like it!”

“Me too!”

“God, this is all life needs to be,” Jeremy said. 

Michael nodded. “Two fish boys in a gay relationship living in a forest river with their adorable fish family.”

“Fish family?”

“Yes, our beautiful fish sons.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Well now you do.”

“Uh…”

“Hush, don't think too hard about it.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

“Kiss me.”

“You don’t have to tell me to,” Jeremy laughed, kissing Michael softly. 

Michael hummed, draping his arms over Jeremy's shoulders.

Jeremy kept his lips softly against Michael’s, maintaining the sweetness of the atmosphere. 

Michael smiled. “I Love you.”

“Mm,” Jeremy hummed. “Love you more.”

Michael hugged Jeremy close, burying his nose in his neck 

“You’re my favorite person, you know,” Jeremy whispered, keeping the hug tight. 

Michael chuckled. “Nerd.”

“Maybe so.” 

Michael kissed the skin he could reach.

“Softie,” Jeremy accused. “Wanna see if we can talk to fish?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Nerd,” Jeremy echoed, pulling them downwards. 

Michael kissed his cheek.

When they were underwater a considerable amount, Jeremy pushed Michael into the open. “Find a nice looking fish!”

“Are there rude looking fish? Or did you mean a hot fish?”

“A kind fish, Michael.”

Michael hummed.

“A polite fish.”

“How am I supposed to know if the fish is polite?”

“If it looks like Squidward, it’s rude.” Jeremy paused. “And out of place.”

“I feel like you're basing this off of SpongeBob.”

“I feel like you should have known that.”

“Just try to talk to a fish.”

“You do it!”

“No, I don't want to look like a fool if it doesn't work.”

“Who’s gonna judge you down here?!” Jeremy questioned. 

“The fish.”

“Let them laugh.”

Michael pouted.

“I’m kidding! Mike, just talk to a fish.”

Michael sighed. He looked around. “Hey, fish!”

Jeremy watched. 

Michael frowned. “I don't think they like me.”

Jeremy tsked. “Maybe because we encroached on their space.”

“Probably.”

“Damn.”

Michael huffed. “Fish are rude.”

“Yeah, good thing we’re mostly human.”

Michael nodded. “I feel rejected.”

“We’re the SpongeBobs in a land of Squidwards,” Jeremy said sadly. 

“I'm sad.”

“Me too.”

“Hug?”

“Sure.” Jeremy smiled and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. 

“Love you.”

“You too!” Jeremy grazed him with his tail. 

Michael chuckled, doing the same back.

“We’re freaks,” Jeremy said, laughing. 

“But we're freaks together, so it's fine.”

“It’s totally fine, Michael. This place is so amazing, have I said that already?”

Michael smiled. “Yeah.”

“Oh well. I can say it as much as I want. I love you so much.”

Michael beamed. “I love you more.”

“And I love you most!” Jeremy grinned. 

Michael pulled him into a kiss, but jolted. “I think a fish just told me to get a room.”

“What? How do you know that? I didn’t hear anything.”

“I.. don't know.”

“What?”

“I don't know. I just heard something say to get a room.”

“Well it wasn’t me. Maybe these fish are rude after all.”

Michael pouted. 

“Try and kiss me again.”

Michael leaned forward, pressing their lips together.

Jeremy pushed him away. “I heard something!”

“What was it?!’’

“Like, gagging.”

Michael scoffed. “That's so rude!”

“Fuck you fish!”

“Yeah!”

“I hear bad noises now.”

“Noises?”

“Like mean noises.” Jeremy looked around. 

“That feels rude.” Michael blinked. “What makes a noise mean?”

“Can fish growl?”

Michael looked worried. “That sounds alarming.”

“Should we stop kissing?”

“No, fuck them.”

“I feel like that’s an extreme response.” 

Michael snorted. “They're just jealous.”

“They want you to fuck them?” Jeremy asked. 

“Probably.”

“Uh, no beastiality please.”

“I'm not going to fuck the fish, Jeremy.”

“Thank god.” Jeremy sighed. “Why are they mad though? For real? They weren’t mad when we were swimming.”

“Maybe they're lonely. Or homophobic.”

Jeremy gasped. “Are you fishes homophobic?!”

Michael hummed. “I think they're just super bitter.”

“That’s odd but also rude. I want to talk to polite fish.”

“No polite fish here, I guess.”

“Yeah, you stick it to the man, Mike,” Jeremy said. “Shove it in their fish faces. They’re meanies.”

Michael chuckled. “Well put, babe.”

“I know what I’m about.”

“I know, babe.”

“Are we living our lives or are we respecting the fish?”

“Are they mutually exclusive?”

“A hundred percent.”

Michael laughed. “Maybe we should leave the fish alone.”

“Agreed,” Jeremy said sadly. 

“I want more kisses.”

“Sorry, they have to wait.”

Michael pouted.

“You just said!” Jeremy exclaimed. 

“But I'm gay.”

“God that’s a mood.”

“Right?”

Jeremy sighed. “Just kiss me.”

Michael pulled him into a deep kiss.

Jeremy kissed him hard, his hand on the back of Michael’s neck. 

Michael's fingers twisted in Jeremy's hair, holding him in place.

Jeremy made a soft noise against Michael’s lips, ignoring the rude fish stares. 

Michael hummed softly, his other hand on Jeremy's hip.

“I love you,” Jeremy murmured into the kiss, floating closer to Michael. 

“I love you too,” Michael smiled. 

“This is magical.”

“You're beautiful.”

“Mm, no. My scales are ugly today.”

“That's so amazingly not true.”

“Lies.”

Michael ran his fingers lightly over the scales on Jeremy's hip. “I think they look beautiful.”

“You do?” Jeremy asked quietly.

Michael nodded. “Totally!”

“God, I love you.”

“I love you too! What a coincidence!”

“Woah, I didn’t know that!”

“Weird!”

“I love us,” Jeremy said breathily, grinning. “We’re dorks.”

Michael chuckled. “I love you.”

“Still a coincidence.”

Michael smiled, stealing a kiss.

“The fish are still mad,” Jeremy pouted. 

“So? What are they gonna do, slap us with their tails?”

“They could form a Mega Fish like those ones in Nemo that make shapes and they could destroy us.”

“No,” Michael shook his head. “They can't.”

“Yes they really can.”

“Hm.”

“Maybe you can fight them, but I’m not strong enough, Mike. The fish will kill me.”

“I'll kill them all.”

“Let’s...not do that.” Jeremy looked around. “I think they went to hide.”

Michael hummed. “Good.”

“We’re mean.”

“We're fine.”

“Kiss me?”

“Absolutely.” Michael pulled him into another kiss.

“God I love you. Have I reached the daily I Love You limit yet?” Jeremy whispered against Michael’s lips. 

Michael hummed. “No limit,” he breathed between kisses.

“Thank god.” 

Michael pressed into the kisses harder.

Jeremy swished his tail around, wrapping it around Michael’s. He kept their kiss hard and genuine. 

Michael smiled against him. “Is this the fish equivalent of straddling?”

Jeremy shrugged. “I dunno. It’s the alpha mermaid version at least.”

Michael laughed. “I have a very real question and you have to answer honestly, okay?”

Jeremy nodded. “What is it?”

“Have you jacked off your retractable fish dick in the bath before?”

“Yes. Next question.”

Michael laughed loudly. “Oh my fucking god.”

“Next question!”

“How was it?”

“Not as satisfying.”

“No?”

“Hm, I think I wanna chase you again.” Jeremy just wanted to change the subject. 

“Hmm.”

“Stop thinking about my fish dick.”

“No. I'm thinking about it.”

“Stop!” Jeremy exclaimed. 

Michael laughed. “I love you.”

“No more dicks!”

“But I like dicks.”

“You have your own.”

“But yours is so much more intriguing.”

“It’s really not,” Jeremy squeaked. “No fish sex today.”

Michael snorted. “Not in front of those fish.”

“Exactly.”

Michael pulled him into another sweet kiss. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“A lot?” Jeremy asked. 

“More.”

“How?!”

“How could I not?!”

“God, I don’t think you love me more than I love you.”

“I disagree.”

“No!” Jeremy shouted. 

“Yes!”

“Michael!”

“Hi!”

“Don’t argue with me while I’m mermaid-straddling you.”

Michael chuckled, twining his own tail with Jeremy's. He leaned forward, pressing kisses down Jeremy's jaw. “Cutie.”

Jeremy giggled. “No, you’re a cutie.”

“Love you.”

“You too. I’m hungry.”

“Eat a fish.”

“Wh– No!”

Michael laughed. “Why not? Food chain!”

“Don’t like that,” Jeremy muttered. 

Michael kissed him. “I was kidding, anyway. I've got goldfish in the backpack, though.”

“You do?” Jeremy’s eyes sparkled. “I love those!”

“I know!”

“I love how you know.”

“That's gay.”

“Yes it is.”

Michael beamed. “I'm so glad.”

“Let’s get our legs back,” Jeremy urged. 

“Mm, and our normal dicks.”

“Stop with the dicks!”

“Never.”

“Have you jerked off yours in the bath then?”

“Only to you, sweetie.”

Jeremy gulped. “Let’s, um, go eat.”

“Of course,” Michael laughed.

Jeremy dove down deep and swam to the bank. 

Michael followed closely.

Jeremy resurfaced. “Well, shit.”

''What?” Michael asked, popping up next to him.

“I pushed the bag too far away.”

“Fuck.”

Jeremy groaned. “We can’t just flop around on the dirt trying to reach it.”

“We could, but we'd look like fools.”

“To the fish?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Michael shrugged.

“Well, maybe.” Jeremy sighed. “Wanna look like a fool and get our bag, babe?”

“Not particularly.”

“Not even for me?”

Michael pouted. 

Jeremy matched the pout. “You wouldn’t do it for your loving boyfriend?”

“I don't want to look a fool.”

“Mermaids forever I guess.”

“Mayhaps.”

“Cruel.”

“That's fate, buddy.”

Jeremy frowned. “Don’t buddy me. Baby me.”

“That's fate, baby.”

Jeremy sighed. “Better.”

Michael smiled, kissing him. 

Jeremy snorted. “We have to get that bag though.”

Michael sighed. “I know.”

“I’m hungry, Mikey.”

Michael groaned. “You're gonna make me do it?”

Jeremy sank slightly to look smaller. “I’m so hungry…”

Michael tsked. “God damn it.” Michael pulled himself up onto land, pulling himself over to the bag. He quickly grabbed the towels, drying himself off. “Don't look at my dick, fish boy.”

Jeremy turned around, grinning. “I knew you could do it!”

Michael huffed, pulling on his boxers and pants. He moved the bag closer. “Okay, come on.”

Jeremy whipped back around and crawled up onto the mud. 

Michael turned away to give him privacy.

After a moment, Jeremy had his clothes on, too, sans his shirt. “Thanks babe!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Michael rolled his eyes, smiling. 

“Goldfish?”

“In the back, babe.”

“Found ‘em!” Jeremy pulled out a package. “Where’s a good picnic spot?”

Michael shrugged. “The rocks?”

“Like little mermaid.”

“Yeah!”

“I love it!”

“Me too!”

“Let’s eat all these fishes.” Jeremy ripped the bag open. 

Michael snorted. “Don't say that too loud.”

“They can’t hurt us if we can run away.”

“You're not wrong.”

Jeremy crawled over to the rocks. “C’mon.”

Michael followed obediently. 

Jeremy grinned. “Other than some really rude-ass fish, this place really is perfect.”

“Right?!”

“And so are you.”

“Aw, I love you.”

“I love you to pieces!”

Michael kissed him. “Eat your fish.”

Jeremy tossed a few into his mouth. “Nom XD,” he said. “Rawr.”

Michael was quiet. “I can't be here. I have to go.”

Jeremy pouted. “You’re supposed to say rawr back. It means I love you in dinosaur.”

“Jeremy, please. I beg of you. Don't say these words to me.”

“But nuzzles.”

“Jeremy. Please.”

“Fine. 2009 is dead.”

“Thank God.”

“Sorry.”

Michael laughed. “I bet the fish are gonna make fun of you.”

“Better than making fun of you.”

“How sweet.”

Jeremy smiled. “They’ll laugh at me instead.”

Michael smiled back, pulling him into a kiss. “Thanks, babe.”

“I did it for you!” Jeremy said, grinning.

Michael laughed. “I feel like you did it because you wanted to say it.”

“I feel like that’s 80% of why I said it.”

“Hm.”

“Okay, 90.”

Michael snorted. “Dork.”

“Sorry!” Jeremy exclaimed. “I just felt the urge!”

“An urge no man should have.”

“I’m half fish sometimes, so it’s fine.”

“I suppose.”

“I’ve eaten half this bag already,” Jeremy pointed out. 

“I'm not hungry. You can have all of it.”

“You’re denying yourself God’s chosen snack.”

Michael laughed. “It's fine.”

Jeremy hummed. “Is it?”

“Yes, Jerm.”

“But it’s the snack that smiles back.”

“I'm aware.”

Jeremy scoffed. “Suit yourself.”

“I'm suited.”

“Damn, fine.”

Michael kissed Jeremy's cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Jeremy said, popping a cracker into his mouth.


End file.
